Fears

Have you noticed that many of today's youth do not have the desire to get married or have children? Have you ever wondered why this is happening? It is no secret that we are all afraid of change and this is one of the reasons why many lose the desire to get married and start a family. The fear of not meeting the expectations expected by the world, the fear of divorce, the fear of reliving past traumas, the fear of not being able to meet your personal goals. There are many fears that have led the new generations to feel a little suspicious of marriage and having children.

What is considered "success" today is very different from what success really is. Success is related to money, fame, and travel. Many young people believe that this is what life is about, they believe that who wins in life is who has more money, who has more followers on Instagram, or who has visited more countries in the world. Although these are things that can be very cool and even respectable goals, this does not mean that you are successful. Success goes beyond material things. Success goes in love and in the good things that the people around you can bring you. Personally, when I think of success, I think of my family and how lucky I am to have them in my life.

One of the main fears that people have when it comes to thinking about marriage is divorce. Many believe that they could not last a lifetime with one person, and we live in a generation where everything is fast and instantly, we want everything now. This leads us to think that if we have a problem, we solve it instantly and throw it away. This makes young people think that in the face of the slightest problem in a marriage, the solution is divorce because if it didn't work from the first moment, it would be very difficult for it to work forever. However, what we must understand is that communication, understanding, and patience are essential for a successful marriage and for the relationship to work for eternity.

The human being tends to feel fear for reliving past traumas. Some people have had terrible experiences related to marriage and starting a family, which makes them think that if they try to do that again, they will have the same experiences again. However, we must understand that problems, traumas, and past experiences are not hereditary and that we can change what we experience. A friend of mine came from a family where all his ancestors were divorced after a few years of marriage, today he has been with his wife for 15 years and plans to spend his whole life with her because he decided to cut the chain of divorces that his ancestors lived. The past cannot be changed, but we can change our future and avoid the mistakes that others have made.

When you are young you have personal goals like getting your degree, traveling, learning new things, buying a car, buying a house, among other things. Many believe that if they marry and form their own family, they will no longer be able to fulfill their personal goals and that everything will remain a frustrated dream or a checklist that will never be marked. It's scary having to give up our goals to put a spouse or child first. However, no one has said that you must give up one to fulfill the other.

I was thinking about my own fears, about what would stop me from starting a family and I concluded that I am terrified of not being able to meet my goals. I have many future goals such as finishing my studies, learning to drive, being independent, having my own car, learning to cook, learning to play an instrument, traveling, however, I also want to marry the love of my life, form my own family, educate my children, and grow spiritually. My biggest fear was not being able to accomplish everything at the same time, but then I remembered the Stoddard family. I had the opportunity to live with the Stoddard family and they completely changed my view of things. They are a family of 4 and nothing has stopped them from achieving their personal goals because instead of being personal, they became family goals. If they want to visit a new place, the whole family travels and if someone wants to fulfill an academic or personal goal, the whole family helps the person to fulfill it. With this, I can say that the family unit makes us successful and that we should not be afraid of experiences as beautiful as getting married and starting a family. In the end, everything is part of this earthly experience, and the family will last until the eternal experience.